When I was 14, I had an incredibly horrible stabbing/burning pain in the top of my left foot. Over time, it started to change temperature and colors...meanwhile, I was on crutches, because the first three doctors thought I had a minor stress fracture in the top of my foot. When I finally went to the sixth doctor, a pediatric rheumatologist at the Children's Hospital of Milwaukee, He finally diagnosed this as Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome. After three months of agressive physical therapy, I finally felt back to myself again.

Throughout the last ten years, I've had small bouts of it, which I have been able to control with desensitization that I learned in the agressive PT sessions. 

In February of 2012, I was shoveling some rather heavy snow, and ended up herniating my L5S1 disc. I have been to a chiropractor, had 5 shots of cortisone, and one shot of depo-medrol in the s1 space. I had an immediate allergic reaction to the depo shot, which in turn created more allergies that I was completely unaware of. I was also prescribed gabapentin and vicodin (which I am now allergic to) percoset was the alternative. SO, i have been on heavy daily doses of percoset to manage that pain, as three bouts of physical therapy has not helped. My whole body has shifted to the left, which ends up being a large problem for both me, and the therapists.....

While I was down with my back issue, I slept on the couch...one day I was in a sitting position, and picked my laptop up from the floor next to me...it slipped from my hands and fell on the previously (bad) foot (RSD..) Immediately I felt the pain of the RSD. My former rheumatologist informed me to race to the ER as soon as humanly possible to get it checked out. The ER doctor checked for a broken foot, YET AGAIN....and actually squeezed that foot, which sent me into orbit to hell with pain.

So, on top of a chronic SI joint dysfunction, degenerative disc disease in the L5S1 joint, and general inability to function as a human being, my RSD came back in full force, almost 1000 times worse than the first time I was diagnosed. My new rheumatologist prescribed amitryptiline for both the depression and anxiety this disease causes (fear of anyone touching me, and the inability to function as a normal human being) and to calm down the nerves in my foot. 

Since then, my endometriosis has been giving me issues. My OB/GYN suggested surgery to remove it, which is my second time in less than two years. After the surgery, he told me I either needed to get pregnant or he could put me on a lupron-depot shot to put my body in a false menopause. Everything was well and good until this medicine made the FIRE PAIN in my foot spike greatly. 

The last time I saw my rheumatologist, she told me that the RSD is not only in my foot, but has spread up to my ankle...skipped my calf and shin and skipped to my knees. I also feel this pain in the shower in my back, and more recently in my elbow, in which i had surgery two years ago. This disease is rather debilitating and I'm starting to get frustrated that none of my medication is working anymore. The back and RSD seem to work against each other to make me extremely miserable. I actually tell people that I am in hell on a daily basis. 

Do you guys have any other options you would recommend for treatment? Massage therapy has not helped at all, as I am very frightened to be touched, I also have extremely bad allodynia due to the RSD (sensitivity to light, sound, etc.) I can't even put a pair of socks on most days...and shoes are the worst. My brain fog is also SUPER horrible. I forget everything really easily...have to write everything down to remember my own HEAD when I go out in public. I have been battling to get disability since June of last year. I can't work and am frustrated that I have been denied twice. 

Thanks for reading, guys! I appreciate it!

Recently, I've been getting stared at a lot, which I'm not appreciating. Stares and laughs...yup, go ahead, laugh at the crippled girl....Is it because I'm fat? Is it because i have a scar and a droopy lip that worsens when it comes to allergies? HELLO it's spring time. Shit happens. This has happened twice in the past week. I don't get it at all. 

Perhaps the great demon of anxiety is back. I feel something weighing down on my shoulders. My whole body is at odds with the earth. The fear of something, anything, touching me or coming across my path makes my pain rise and boil. It is hard to explain to people who have never had a chronic illness. Recently, I came across the spoon theory...it is a rather solid explanation for what I go through on a daily basis. You may not see that I have some major pain issues...so that must mean i'm fine and dandy. 

I'm not. I'm in my own personal hell. The only thing that would make things worse right now would be that an endless loop of Phil Collins songs would be playing and never, EVER leaving. UGH. frustrated.